Chemo Chemo Chemo

Of everything I went through I was most scared of this.  To me chemo represented:  poison, no hair, sickness, nausea, cancer, sallow skin, depression.

I didn’t know what to expect.  I thought I would be sick immediately (I wasn’t), I thought I’d lose my hair immediately(I didn’t), I thought I’d lose weight (I didn’t- insert angry face)!

Truthfully, the side effects of the steroids were probably worse than the chemo.  I never threw up but ½ way through my 12 weeks I did become extremely nauseous the following day and could not do anything but sit on the couch watching the clock, hoping the time would pass so the day could be over and I could hopefully sleep it away (I did). 

The hardest part of chemo was watching everyone live life while mine literally stopped!  Everyone was living, working, shopping, laughing, meeting with friends, going to school, church, the gym, etc…while all I did was see more doctors and have more medical tests.

Depression set in.  I’d have to climb back out again as I had already done before.