Long Term Side Effects: The Good and The Bad

How could I be approaching 6 years since I finished chemo?! It seems like such a long time ago but at the same time it seems like yesterday.

It was October of 2017 and I had completed my 12 weeks of Taxol. Finally, I was done putting that “poison” into my body. I remember being so afraid and wanting to avoid chemo at all costs. I repeatedly asked, “Why me?!” I cried knowing I had spent most of my life trying to be a health advocate. I always had an interest in diet and exercise. As a teen, I used to read health articles and magazines just for fun and loved finding out about the newest “super” food or latest exercise trend. So you can imagine just the thought of chemo scared me and I wasn’t sure how I would ever recover from it.

Recover I did! Yes, it was a slow process. Not much different than before, I took one day at a time. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. My body needed to rest. I still kept moving the best I could. Today, I am still dealing with toe nails barely hanging on and need to return to the doctor to deal with this once again. However, I only see my oncologist once a year and my energy is almost where it used to be. I have a much better outlook on life than I used to. I’m truly grateful for everyday and find joy in the little things. The most fun fact is that I can wear all those cute tops that require no bra now and my hair is back to normal!

The thoughts of the cancer returning is always in the back of my mind. It makes it much more difficult because I am in contact with so many cancer survivors around the world and it is devastating each time someone becomes metastatic and stage 4. We truly need to focus on more research specifically for stage 4 cancer so that there can be more options and treatments available to that population. You would be heartbroken if you knew how many young women have lost their lives when the cancer returned. If you ever consider donating, please make sure they focus on research.

Wishing you all my best always!!

Me working the red carpet in Laguna Beach, CA this past August 2023. Notice the hair and no bra 😉😜

Will I ever feel like myself again?

The simple answer is YES…and no. This is a difficult question to answer because it involves so much and our bodies have changed physically which affects us mentally as well. I can only speak about my experience and I do realize it can be different for every person depending on their initial treatment plan and continued treatment plans.

I do feel like my “old self” in many ways but definitely a new improved version! Let me explain more. Physically, it took a long time (about a year to 18 months) to feel like my body didn’t have some foreign objects stuck to the front of them. These new breasts are definitely not the same but they’re not all bad either! Let’s be honest, as we age our breasts start heading more and more South! I never planned on getting these fake boobs but I can’t complain now that they are not inching closer and closer to my waistline any longer!

What about the mental anguish and depression I had to deal with? Well, that’s gone too. I have a much better appreciation for life, don’t take the little things for granted and am very thankful for each day I have living as a healthy and happy person the best way I know how. When you hear about other women getting a recurrence and living with a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, it definitely puts things into perspective! By the way, I am in awe of these women and they inspire me every single day. They are a wonderful example to me and many others. They are the true fighters and thrivers who never give up!

So…YES, you will feel like yourself again, maybe it will take some time, but you will get there!

How Long Will It Take For My Hair to Grow Back After Chemo?

I remember searching this topic quite a bit! I was really upset about losing my hair and I don’t think you can ever truly comprehend what that means until you actually lose ALL of your hair. Not only do you lose the hair on your head, but you lose all of the hair on your body!

Everyone is different and your hair loss will depend on the type of chemo you receive. Some will lose it quicker than others, but ultimately, we all lose it if our type of chemo drug causes this side effect. There are many chemo drugs for other types of cancer that will not cause hair loss, unfortunately for breast cancer, they all do.

Here’s my experience. I was given Taxol, once a week for 12 weeks. I made it halfway through and my hair was still holding on pretty well. Yes, it was thinning but I still had a lot of hair on my head. After week 5, I started seeing more and more hair on my pillow in the morning and each time I washed my hair a small fur animal came out along with the shampoo. A week of this was about all I could handle. So that Saturday, August 19, 2017, I bravely asked my husband to shave my head. I cut it with scissors myself and then just let him get it over with. Looking back, I really didn’t understand what this meant. I loved having my long hair and new I would miss it but I really missed it for a long long time!

Friends and family, who mean well, will tell you, it’s only hair and that it will grow back. But you know what?! It’s devastating to lose your hair! A baby with no hair looks cute, an adult with no hair looks sick! I tried to embrace it but I hated every minute of it! I kept my head covered as long as possible until I had enough hair to style into some kind of cute hairdo. 

I lost the hair on my legs but that came back first of course! Ugh! I had lasered some hair on my body and had wondered what would happen, but those hair follicles were dead, so all good there. I lost my eyelashes and eyebrows 6 weeks AFTER chemo ended and went into a major depression. No breasts, no hair, no eyelashes, no eyebrows, equaled NO femininity in my eyes. (I lost my eyelashes two more times but by then was used to this cycle and handled it much better). Today, three years after chemo ended, my eyelashes are still suffering and very sparse, but the hair on my head is back to normal and I even have to cut it constantly!

It’s so hard to be patient but IT WILL GROW BACK! I promise you will get through this!

Timeline:  From the day I shaved my head until I felt I had a good amount of hair again was 16 months. Two years from the day I shaved my head I felt even better! Photos below.