I never considered getting breast implants before my diagnosis but now I had no choice. Actually, I did have a choice, remain flat or have reconstruction and for me that meant implants. The thought of having my breasts completely removed upset me. I had very little time to make this decision and I didn’t know how I’d feel. Waking up after my double mastectomy I was happy to be alive but then I immediately remember looking under my gown and crying at what I saw. I was in a lot of pain and the pain medication could only help so much. One of the worst parts of surgery is coming home with drains. They were very uncomfortable and one was very painful for me. I hated draining them (thank God for my husband) and waiting two weeks to get them out and take a shower was a lot to ask of anyone!! Once I was home I experienced excruciating pain shooting through my body. This happened on and off for a few months and I later learned it was the nerves dying in my chest. Now a year plus later, the implants feel more like a part of my body. They are very heavy and cause me to wear a bra almost 24 hours a day. I’m grateful reconstruction was an option but it’s definitely not the same.